I started drinking alcohol when I was 17 years old (at a time when the legal drinking age in New Jersey was 18). My dad was an alcoholic, though none of us would have considered him an alcoholic back then in the 1970s. He never missed a day of work, was never unemployed, and never (as far as I can remember) drank at home. He went out drinking with his buddies a few nights a week at the lodge or the YMCA, but what most people didn’t realize was that he’d come home from a night of fun and beat his wife and kids. He was verbally and physically abusive (even when he hadn’t been drinking), basically terrorizing and traumatizing his family. On one occasion my mom had to be hospitalized. Yet, I loved my father. Maybe if society had been more aware of functional alcoholism back then, we might have sought help, but it was all oddly “normal” for us. I thought that’s how every family was.
From a young age, I had determined that I would never drink alcohol. Sure, I didn’t want to become my father. But I also knew if I could find a way to numb the pain of life, if I could find an escape, I would do it every chance I got. And that’s exactly what happened once I decided to join the crowd and start drinking with my friends. That was the worst decision of my life. I kept my grades up during my senior year of high school, but I could tell that the desire to drink was starting to consume me.
And then came Jesus! Because of some greater problems in our family involving my twin sister and drug use, my parents began attending the Wesleyan church in our hometown, just a few blocks from our house. I had always walked on the other side of the street so I didn’t get too close to the big mansion that housed the church, thinking it was some kind of cult because of the huge neon “Jesus Saves” sign that hung out front. My parents weren’t church-goers, so it was odd when they started going on Sunday mornings, and even odder when they started attending on Sunday nights and Wednesday nights. But something happened to my parents during that time. They “got saved.” I didn’t understand exactly what happened at the time, but Dad was nice. And he sat at the table every night reading a Bible. Every evening when I came home from school, I’d cautiously ask my mom, “Is he still nice?” And he was. In a very short period of time, he stopped drinking… and smoking… and going to the lodge. And I kept drinking and searching for something to heal my heart. But my parents, brand new Christians, were praying.
Within a few months, I came to Christ with a contrite and broken heart, wanting desperately to find what my parents had found. One week later I was a different person. The changes were significant enough that people could see it on my face. I was finally free and my heart was filled with an inexpressible joy. I wanted nothing more than to please God and to serve Him. And from the moment of my prayer to commit my whole life to Christ, I have never had a single drink of alcohol.
I didn’t quit drinking because someone told me that I couldn’t drink as a Wesleyan. I didn’t quit because of any outward pressure. I quit because I was convinced that’s what God wanted me to do. That first week of my new walk with the Lord, I read the Bible from Galatians up to Revelation. And I wrote down everything I felt God was telling me as I read. God brought up the alcohol issue to me again and again and again. I was compelled to obey. And I wanted to obey. I knew God wanted me to have what was best for me. Never once did I consider it a burden to give up alcohol; it was a gift.
As the years have passed by (almost 40 of them!), I’ve heard many arguments about why it’s OK to drink and how “legalistic” it was for pastors to tell congregants that drinking alcohol was sinful or wrong. I’ve even had people intentionally entice me to drink. But every single day I choose – of my own free-will enabled by God’s grace – to not drink. Here’s why.
I want to be in full control of my faculties at all times
1 Peter 5:8 exhorts, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith….” I’m not a doctor, but even I understand that alcohol is a depressant that slows your reflexes and dulls your ability to think clearly – even in small amounts. I occasionally take NyQuil to relieve the symptoms of a bad cold. Even though the dose is less than 2 tablespoons, it puts me to sleep within minutes. (I’ve tried the no-alcohol versions, and they don’t have the same effect on me.) Maybe the depressive effect of alcohol isn’t a big deal for most people, but it is for me. If I’m being stalked by a ravenous “lion,” I want to be completely alert at all times. I need – and want – to be quick-minded and as able as possible to react quickly and correctly. I have no idea what the next hours of any day will bring, and I don’t want to be unprepared for a challenge or temptation because my senses are dulled or my cognitive abilities impaired. I want to be ready to be used by God at any moment, in any circumstance.
I want to exercise good judgment
One of the effects of alcohol consumption is the loss of inhibitions and willpower. When I was drinking, I was more relaxed and more outgoing. I laughed and joked and probably said a whole lot of inappropriate things. I made horrible decisions that could have impacted me for the rest of my life. I can honestly say that I never made a good decision when I had been drinking. It actually hindered my ability to see the danger in situations and to rationally think through consequences. Now, as a Christian, I want to always exercise good judgment. I want my thought process to be clear and attentive to the Holy Spirit’s prompting.
I want to protect myself and others
I never want to be in the position where my lack of judgment or my impaired cognitive or motor abilities causes harm to me or to someone else. I don’t want to be the person driving with a slight “buzz” who causes an accident that cripples or kills another human being. I don’t even want to be the person who says something inappropriate that offends another person. I’m capable of doing that without alcohol, but so much more so when drinking. When I was drinking, the euphoria lasted for only a short time; it was always followed by a deep sadness and overwhelming depression. It isn’t unreasonable to think that I may have intentionally chosen to harm myself had I continued in that lifestyle. And that would have devastated my family. I want to be a protector of people, to be the one who helps and encourages and brings light and goodness into their lives. I want to protect my own health and my reputation.
I want to be a good witness in a decadent culture
Paul admonished the early church to consider those who were weaker in the faith and to not do anything that would cause them to stumble (see Romans 14:13-22). I never know who may be watching my life and following my example. What if that person concludes from me that drinking is OK, and he becomes one of the 10% who ends up hopelessly addicted? What if someone else’s life is ruined because of my “freedom” to drink? I don’t ever want to be the cause of someone else stumbling or falling away from the faith. I care too much about them.
I also care about my witness in society. I find it interesting how socially acceptable it has become to post one’s desire for a glass of wine on Facebook, especially among women. Have you noticed? Wine is the go-to solution for anxiety, stress, a bad day, or an escape from the world’s cares. Art studios have cropped up across the country offering painting classes and wine for a relaxing night out with friends. We have become wine-obsessed. And judging by the proliferation of small breweries, it appears that we are also beer-obsessed. I want to be a witness that it is possible to have joy and peace and rest and freedom from the cares of this life without alcohol. Jesus is enough!
I want to testify to God’s all-sufficiency
As I mentioned above, I want to testify to the fact that Jesus is enough. He can provide everything we’re looking for alcohol to provide: rest for the soul, joy despite the circumstances, courage to face trials, and freedom to express our deepest thoughts and fears and hopes and dreams. Whispering a prayer during a difficult situation is far better than, “I need a drink.” The euphoria that comes from being in His presence and sensing the Holy Spirit moving in your life is far more fulfilling – and contagious – than having a beer or a glass of wine. There is nothing that alcohol provides that has not been provided by God apart from a mind-altering drug. He is enough. I want to show through my life how to handle stress and disappointment and discouragement in a way that is more biblical than resorting to alcohol. Jesus is always all we need.
The Bottom Line
Please understand that I’m not casting judgment on those who choose to drink in moderation. I’m not offended by it. I don’t even consider it a “heaven or hell” issue, even though I believe it is for me, personally. This is my story, my experience, my rationale for having chosen a life that may seem strange to many people in today’s culture. However, there are those who do make a convincing argument for total abstinence from alcohol for all Christians (see especially the articles by Dr. Rick Westermeyer, M.D., “Is a Little Wine Good for the Heart” and “Is a Little Wine Good for the Soul?”). It is possible that alcohol could become a heaven or hell issue for many Christians because of some of the reasons I’ve described above. It’s always a good idea to ask God to search your heart and to show you His will for your life when it comes to alcohol.
Pastors in Wesleyan/holiness denominations used to preach against the evils of alcohol. Not so much anymore! Many pastors grew up in such a “repressive” and “legalistic” atmosphere that they’ve rebelled against it by advocating moderate alcohol use, even sometimes bragging about their defiance of denominational expectations of clergy and church members. I’m not sure if their stance on alcohol is a matter of being more enlightened, wanting to remove roadblocks for church membership, or just plain, old-fashioned rebellion. But in a society that has become increasingly dependent on alcohol and has also been consistently broken by it, I think pastors would be wise to reconsider the issue. I know for me, personally, the daily choice not to consume alcohol and God’s grace to be faithful in this commitment have saved me from a life of heartache and destruction. I know it in the depth of my soul. And I have to believe there are others out there who also need to be freed from the grip of alcohol and the pain it causes in the home. They need to know that there is a better way and that it’s possible to live a full life without it. And just maybe there are some imbibing Christians out there who need to realize that they might not be able to live a full life with it.
